"I wasn't prepared for the loneliness that accompanied Christmas," she says.
"It amplified the concept of a broken home." She wishes she had made plans to see her mother or a friend—or taken a vacation—to take her mind off spending the holiday by herself.
"It's important to have support that's educated as well as therapeutic."2. "I used a criminal attorney and got a poor settlement," admits Christine K. On the other hand, a lawyer who's well-versed in family law could get you a better settlement because she knows the state-law nuances and local judges and lawyers, says Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce.
If you and your husband have complicated combined assets, you may need additional pros.
"Divorcing just means that the relationship didn't work out," she says.
"You haven't been rejected as a woman or a person, nor are you incompetent at being a wife, a partner, a lover, a friend."8. Amanda, 29, from Albuquerque, NM, was married for over six years until her divorce.
Try to have money available—like ,000—within days. "It not only 'showed him;' it also showed the wife—and their children—what life is like on a lower salary," she says.
Simplybadmouthing your ex is likely to hurt your kids more than your husband, even if you don't think they hear or read what you say."Divorce used to be something people didn't do, and many considered divorced women to be 'loose' and 'scandalous,'" says two-time divorcee Jennifer Little, Ph D, founder of Parents Teach Kids.Some of those stigmas still exist, she says, so remember that divorce doesn't define you.Psychotherapist Pandora Mac Lean-Hoover, who's divorced, also suggests finding a therapist who knows firsthand how vulnerable you are."Therapists who haven't experienced divorce often create false hope," in regards to recovering quickly."Children feel a sense of responsibility for the breakup no matter how much the parents state it wasn't about them," says marriage and family therapist Lesli M. Watch out for little ones regressing in their behavior—acting younger, wanting to sleep in bed with you—or showing anger toward siblings and peers.