When and how to reveal the "herpes secret" is a top of mind question for anyone who has contracted the virus.
I wish I had the space to cover this topic on this blog post (but I'm already way over).
He is someone I've always felt loved me enough to protect me and keep me safe. The thing I am struggling so deeply with is that I want to have a partner, a totally exclusive partner, not someone who is married and "allowed" to be with another woman.
And the not-so-"funny" thing is, it's more common to be thought of as "dirty" or "damaged goods" if you have HSV2, yet no one seems to mind if it's "just a cold sore."HSV1 and HSV2 are essentially the same virus -- it's just a matter of where they present on the body.
So, to the aware individual who has done her homework on the Herpes virus, you are no more "dirty" or "damaged goods" if you have HSV2 instead of HSV1. Mary, I feel that your question about herpes is so critically important because your major concern has to do with the ongoing painful physical symptoms that you've endured and how you could never risk passing this on to someone you love.
And, one of the greatest dichotomies is that the VERY thing, for me, that demonstrates my true love for a man is to have an intimate sexual relationship with him.
I've given myself to very few men over the years, and one of these very few men (who happens to be married, but we are in an open relationship together with his wife's consent, we are essentially "friends with benefits"); well, he was someone that I've always believed cared for me. And what makes this whole situation even worse is that he TOLD me he had it and I didn't take any precautions to protect myself. I've even told my friends that "he didn't know he had it" because I can't even admit to myself that I didn't look out for myself the way I should have.
On the other hand, you might notice symptoms within a few days to a couple of weeks after the initial contact.
Or you might not have an initial outbreak of symptoms until months or even years after becoming infected.This is where I feel a little concerned, and not from a coaching or therapy perspective (that has to do with helping you find a more supportive outlook), but from a physical health standpoint.I've conferred with my partner Todd (who is a physician) and I've read (as I'm sure you have) numerous websites about the typical symptoms of herpes.The Gremlin, as fellow dating coach Marni Battista likes to call it, is that mean, judgmental, condemning voice inside your head.The Gremlin is responsible for all of your sabotaging thoughts.Dear Colette, my question is a bit "heavy" and I hope you are willing to help me with it, because it is totally messing with my body, my heart, my head, with my confidence, with my ability to believe that it's possible for anyone to ever love me again, or ever want to risk being with me because of the physical and psychological impact.