Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc.
But as Fishman's study notes, "nationally, girls and women outnumber men in weekly non-Orthodox worship services, in adult education classes, in volunteer leadership positions, and in Jewish cultural events." It's not only intermarried Jewish men who tend to be disengaged from Jewish life. The difference, however, is that a Jewish wife is more likely than a non-Jewish one to insist that the family participate in Jewish life and the children be given a Jewish education.
Amazingly, tens of thousands of gentile wives actually do insist that their families participate in Jewish life--often because they want their children exposed to religion and their Jewish husbands have vetoed Christianity.
Last month I noted in this space that Jewish women and men who intermarry often do so for different reasons--the women because their efforts to find a Jewish husband are unsuccessful, the men because they are either avoiding Jewish women or simply don't see any value in marrying within the Tribe.
17, 2008 While the rest of the country wonders if a (decidedly not Jewish) Republican hockey mom could become our first female vice president, I'm obsessing about gender in the Jewish community.
The New York woman who praised my column noted that "the handful of Jewish men I dated seriously were commitment-phobes who are now (many years later) still unmarried or with non-Jewish women." And a friend married to a former Unitarian echoed this attitude, writing that the few Jewish men who were interested in her "were often so neurotic it was clear it wouldn't go past a few dates." Mentioning that one's Jewish suitors tend toward the neurotic hardly makes one a bigot, yet it is interesting that comments like these frequently surface in conversations with intermarried and single Jewish women--and I must confess I've had similar thoughts at times myself.
But short of public service messages to convince Jewish men that Jewesses are really not too overbearing--alongside parallel ones extolling the brute strength and psychological resilience of Jewish men--can stereotypical attitudes be changed?
For one, they are the “chosen people.”For another, once they do reach a socially acceptable level of maturity, they blossom into really successful individuals (I'm specifically referring to the ones that don't eventually enter into politics or money laundering).
They are diligent and dedicated guys whose compassion and patience are rare finds in most men.
And did I, in last month's column, inadvertently overstate their whole influence on intermarriage trends?
When Rabbi Abraham Unger, a professor at Wagner College in Staten Island, wrote an op-ed in response to my piece--in which he said my contention is "that Jewish male attitudes toward Jewish women are largely to blame for intermarriage"--I wondered if I had accidentally "contended" something I don't actually believe.
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